Motherhood

Motherhood comes with all sorts of emotions and concerns that no one could  prepare you for. This past week Judah had to go for his 2 month check-up which included 3 shots. I knew it was coming and I prepared myself for it, but I still had a little anxiety attack in the parking lot. 

I really love structure. It's kind of a love/hate relationship with it. Structure makes me feel like I'm in control of what's happening around me; not much structure is associated with infants. I read books, magazines, forums, blogs, etc. on what a baby should be doing, when they should be doing it, how they should be doing it, blah blah blah.  So many things have not gone according to plan and he's only been here 10 weeks! I planned on exclusively breast-feeding. No bottle, no formula, just me. Well you know what? My baby wasn't latching correctly, cracked both my nipples, I had to resort to pumping, got a double breast infection, had to give him formula because I lost most of my milk supply and now we're nursing and supplementing with formula. How's that for honesty? I also said that I'd never give my children a pacifier, that I wanted them to get comfort from me, not an object. The thing is, Judah loves sucking! So I had to ask myself, do I keep the pacifier away from him because of my own reasoning, or do I give him something that I know he'll really enjoy? I picked the latter! These books that are suppose to be helpful are just more stress. Parenting is not a one-size fits all thing! Every child is different. So I'm throwing these books out and I'm going to rely on God as my main guidance. We'll work at our own pace and with God at our core. We'll do what fits our lifestyle best and take it one day at a time. My son is healthy and happy, so we must be doing something right!