Thursday, April 12, 2012

Compelled

I sit here at the computer desk with my coffee in hand. I look at blogs, fashion, recipes, things that inspire me.Things that inspire selfish wants and needs. I feel guilty, I know I'm not doing enough. I have this feeling in my gut, this emptiness that hasn't been filled in a while. Why was it that when I was a kid I had the same compassion for others but also had the action to do something? My heart aches for something more. I'm trying to pursue God with everything I have in me. I'm trying my best to live a life worthy of Him. I'm somewhere in my life that I don't want to be. I'm 19 years young and feel that I'm not doing my best to my ability to give everything to the one who died for me. Easter just passed and I guess it's just brought back this burning passion that I once had. I want to be able to one day face God and those pearly white gates and know without a doubt I did everything in my ability to show God's undying love to others. I don't quite know what it is that God's telling me I need to do, but I know it's going to be something big and it's going to be in the near future.
I have a lot of things going on lately, I'm at a big crossroads in my life and I'm choosing to put everything I am, all my faith, in the hands of my Creator.
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4 comments:

  1. just stumbled on your blog and wanted to say that i find courage in your choice to share your story. you will do great things and make a new life for yourself. have strength and believe in yourself. xx

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  2. BEKAH! How could I have missed this blog of yours? HOW!?!?!?! And girl, you had me in a state of panic when you said you are moving to a State by yourself. I scoured your blog to see if there was something I missed. Are you still in Cali at the moment? Coffee date soon, maybe? I want to hear your heart, your updates, your recent happenings. BADLY! :)

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  3. I think you are brave. : )

    "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Cor. 12:9

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  4. i have to admit that my religion has lapsed, but i too am at a huge crossroads in my life and part of me wishes that i had something to comfort me the way you do. i'll have to rely on the support of my loved ones! best of luck to you :)

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